I love that you went chapter by chapter discussing the most important points. There are so many wonderful themes through out this book. The limitations we put on ourselves also struck me. On some level, I recognized that we create our own realities but this chapter helped me recognize the boxes we put around ourselves. It truly is a matter of perspective. I loved the references you made to the girls you were counseling. I had no idea you had a psychology background. You experience is a great example of how we can impact the lives of others through simple gestures of caring. As educators, we do not always know the impact we have on the lives of others. I believe being in the classroom is so much more about relationships than subject area knowledge. The knowledge is important but the relationship has to come first. We must all strive to be a contribution.
Chapter 1: I had no idea what I was getting into when I started reading this book. I guess I already put it in a particular “frame” and expected another textbook that should be relevant to this program to some degree. To my surprise, Chapter 1 threw me for a major loop and actually struck a chord with me. Challenging me to now really think of how I confine myself, my existence and even my own expectations of myself this chapter really got me thinking about all sorts of boxes I create in my life. This particular quote towards the end of chapter 1 was so impactful that I actually copied it into my Facebook and Twitter statuses (an abridged version for Twitter though) “Every problem, every dilemma, every dead end we find ourselves facing in life, only appears unsolvable inside a particular frame or point of view. Enlarge the box or create another frame around the data and the problems vanish, while new opportunities appear.” I can’t tell you how often I see myself stuck writing a creative piece and can’t move forward because I don’t allow myself to truly be free in the creative writing process. Or how many times I see my schedule as completely solid and when something unexpected occurs, it’s practically the end of the world because I initially think I can’t change my schedule. Or when financial crisis sets in, and I feel like we are doomed because I’m not thinking outside the box and realize what other options are available that will ease the burdens. I think this is something we all struggle with and since we are conditioned to actually fit things into neat little boxes to make them make sense, it becomes a struggle to deconstruct that pattern and try something “out of the box”.
Chapter 2: Going through Chapter 2, I understand the concept of the world of measurement as basically the confines we fit everything into. What makes us, “make sense “of the world and everything in it. I would say my own thoughts and actions reflect the measurement world through my irrational anxieties of anything that involves change or the unknown. Through my psych background, I know some of my irrational fears and anxieties are from learned or conditioned through certain life experiences. As an adult, I’ve even learned to recognize where some of this comes from. But I guess there is some comfort in my discomfort. That although change and certain thoughts or things cripple me to the point of hyperventilating (heights, snakes, losing my children), I know exactly what they are, what triggers them and may even be more afraid of releasing them that I chose to hold on to them. Now I know I’m probably going all over the place in this post, but while reading this book, I’ve been processing a lot of things in my frame of mind.
Chapter 3: So the “A” is not an expectation to live up to but a possibility to live in to”. That sentence initially turned me off. It’s through expectations we can learn what we are made of. What we expect of ourselves shows us how far we can go. What we expect of others, defines what we will and won’t put up with. I never thought expectations were a bad thing as long as they were relevant, clear and consistent. I completely understand where this chapter is going, but I may not be at the place to embrace it yet. Learning to deconstruct how to function without expectations is utterly challenging and to some down right impossible. I know it is something that must be done to further understand myself and break down the barriers I’ve created in my life and hopefully teach my children to do this early on and not have to wait until some midlife crisis to breakdown all they’ve ever know (which is kind of where I’m at now). Regardless, upon reading the rest of the chapter, I understand where the author was going and must just accept this as another challenge I have to learn to overcome; another miseducation I must learn to deconstruct.
Chapter 4: I don’t care what you’ve been raised to believe, but it is practically universal to understand that contributing, giving, inspiring, doing anything outside of yourself for the benefit of someone else without expecting anything in return makes you feel way better than not doing any of the previously listed. Sometimes it is a challenge for others to come outside of themselves long enough to see how much more of an impact they will make by giving a little bit of themselves. When I counseled abused and neglected girl, I learned what an impact I was making and how I was contributing to the future of these girls. When a handful of them found me through social networking years later and have told me what a word, or gesture meant to them even know showed me how true it is. Spiritually, I know that that being a giving person only enriches you. So I try to contribute as often as I can. I teach my children to contribute. I try to create the idea “if I have, you have; if I eat, you eat; if I can be happy, I should help make you happy.” It’s the only thing that makes sense to me more so now than ever before.
Image courtesy of Microsoft Office Clip Art
